3rd January 2012

3rd January 2012 - New Year Lunch.

Tales from the Courts - Stewart Houston

Biggar Probus Club held their Christmas Lunch at the Cornhill House Hotel, Coulter, on Tuesday 3^rd January. Fifty-four members and wives braved the violent gales and fallen trees to attend, and were very well looked after, as always, by the hotel who provided an excellent lunch. Our President, Jim Watt, presided and, during the lunch, toasts were drunk to the Queen and to the Club.

After a very convivial meal, we all enjoyed the light-hearted and very funny talk given by our speaker, Stewart Houston, who was for many years the Procurator Fiscal at Lanark Sheriff Court. Apparently the law is not always the solemn and serious affair that we imagine, and Stewart showed that there is often humour to be discovered in most situations. We were kept entertained by a rapid succession of hilarious anecdotes concerning judges, lawyers, witnesses, the accused, councillors and the worthy citizens of one or two local towns. Even some of our own members did not escape Stewart’s sharp wit. We gained the impression that the only people who can be relied upon stay focused and to keep the legal show on the road are the Procurators Fiscal! If there was any doubt as to whether so much laughter was a good thing on top of a big lunch and a few glasses of wine then that fear was soon dispelled. The vote of thanks was given by the Junior Vice President, Michael Heale, who told the Fiscal that he stood accused of giving a thoroughly entertaining and first class talk and it was up to the assembled jury to decide if the case was proved or not. The jury unanimously decided that he was guilty and he was sentenced to receive a small gift from the club and a very well deserved hearty show of our appreciation.

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